13th January- Canary Islands, Spain
Look out point
Dom’s POV
I couldn’t help but steal a glance at Letty as we both got out of the car. Letty had wanted to spend the day together talking and I had convinced her to let me chose the place. She’d agreed, although I could see the amount of hesitation she had. She was taking big steps and you could tell she was out of her comfort zone.
“It’s beautiful.” She spoke in awe as we looked out at the view.
“Yeah it is. I found it some months back.”
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
“I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else.” I promised as she gave me a small unsure smile.
“Come on, there’s chair over there. I thought we’d sit and look at the view while we talk.” I offered, hesitantly holding out my hand for her. Her expression was torn as she looked at my hand and I knew I had moved too fast.
“No pressure right?” I smiled, moving my hand back to my side. She sent me a small smile of thanks as we moved to sit on the wooden bench.
“I don’t know where to start to be honest.” She sighed as she looked out into the distance.
“Back at the beginning. What I did to you after I got out of jail was wrong and unfair. I loved you back then but I never realized just how much until I lost you for good. “ I started. She tilted her head slightly to the side letting me know she was listening.
“I could make up a dozen excuses to justify what I did but in the end it all comes down to one thing. I was selfish. I was selfish and all I did was hurt you time and time again.”
“I forgave you for that.” She whispered and I shook my head serious as I turned to look at her.
“No you didn’t. We swept it under the rug and never spoke of it again. We weren’t talkers back then Letty. I mean maybe we were in the beginning but me going to jail changed both of us.” She sighed, finally acknowledging the truth.
“Yeah it did.” She sighed heavily.
“I want this to work Letty, I want you back in every way I can. I love you, so much and as painful as it’s going to be we need to go right back Let. Be truthful and honest with one another.”
“I know. I’ll try.” We shared a small smile before I started speaking again.
I looked out at the view in silence, my mind still reeling from Letty’s admission. We had been sitting here in the same spot for almost four hours, talking through our earlier problems. I was right in thinking it wasn't going to be easy but damn I didn’t think it was going to be this hard either. We had fought twice already, both of us losing our tempers with one another, yet somehow we still managed to sit here.
“I’m sorry I never told you.” She whispered.
“Why? Why would you not tell me that?”
“You were in jail and you wouldn’t see me.” She offered weakly.
“I wrote to you every week, sometimes more. I rang but you never wanted to speak to me.” I ground out, years worth of hurting flooding through.
“That’s not something you can just blurt out over the phone Dom.” She hissed in frustration and I glared out into nothing.
“Were you?" I demanded. I needed to know, I needed to put my mind at ease.
“I don’t know.” I turned my glare to Letty and gave her a look.
“What do you mean you don’t know? You just said you had taken a test.” I asked confused.
“I didn’t look at it. I couldn’t, I was too afraid of what I’d see. I threw it out, got my period a few days later. Never gave it another thought.” She offered in explanation. I said nothing for a while, still wondering how she could have kept that secret for so many years. She never once thought to tell me she had suspected she was pregnant when I had been sent to jail?
“You should have told me.” I whispered.
“I know, I realize that now. It’s just one of my mistakes.” I sighed heavily running a hand over my face.
“Let’s just not dwell on the what ifs.” I offered and she relaxed, taking the offered life line.
“What happened to you? After I left you in the D.R I mean?” I noted she tensed at my question and I wondered whether I had pushed too soon but I had to know something, anything just for reassurance that she would stay true to her word and let me in.
“It’s starting to get late, I need to go pick up Ava.” She spoke, deflecting my question and I took the hint. I nodded, eager too to see my daughter. Letty hadn’t mentioned me staying with her once again, so I wasn’t going to ask unless she offered first. However I was going to use every chance I got to spend time with Ava.
“We still have more things to talk about.” I spoke lightly and she nodded.
“I know, I just can’t…. no more today.” I nodded in understanding.
“I understand.”
“No you don’t, but you’re trying so thank you. You just have to be patient with me, I’m only used to talking with Leon and Charlotte now, and that’s only because-“
“They’ve always been there. I get it. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” I promised, offering her a gentle smile in return.
“I know. Come on, I’m sure your sister is wanting a break by now.” I smiled and nodded, leading Letty over to my car.
As I drove through the streets back to Mia’s I was left to my own thoughts as Letty stayed silent. I reflected back on the day and realized we had put aside a fair bit more then I realized. It wasn’t much; a slight dent in our fucked up relationship but it was a start. It was something to show we were working through things and taking steps forward in the right direction.