Dom's POV
"Dominic how could you! Where is she?" I didn't even flinch at the shrill yell as I held my phone to my ear.
"I don't know… I think she might be on her way to you. Maria I'm so sorry." I cried. I had locked myself in my room after realizing Letty had left us and I spent the first half an hour crying while trying to call her nonstop leaving messages. Even Mia who was beside herself with worry was messaging her. Leon and Vince took off to search the streets for her calling into Hector's and anyone else she might have gone to. With two hours already passed I grew more worried and I knew I had no choice but to ring and tell Maria what had been going on with me and Michelle.
"If I was there right now Dominic I would… You get out there and you find her. Do you understand me? I'll ring if she turns up here but so help me Dominic if anything happens to my baby I'm holding you responsible."
"Maria if anything happens to her I'll never forgive myself." I whispered all the while crying.
"… Even though I'm so furious with you and the others right now I don't want to see you hurt either… what am I going to do with you Dom?" she sighed but I stayed quiet.
"I don't understand… you love Letty, why would you do this to her?"
"Things have changed since jail…" I said quietly.
"So you don't love her anymore? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" She demanded and I shut my eyes tightly.
"No that's not it at all, I love her with all my heart…. I made a mistake, a terrible mistake."
"I can't and won't force her to speak to you if she turns up here." She stated and I hung my head.
"I know…"
"You've really screwed up this time Dominic." I stayed silent at the older woman's words.
"Give her space Dom okay? She'll come to you if she wants to."
"I don't want to lose her." I whispered.
"Then you should have thought with your head and not another part of your body." After a few more minutes of threats and warnings we hung up and I knew she'd never trust me again. Least of all with Letty.
"I'm sorry Mia." I said quietly to her as she came out and sat with me on the back porch.
"I lost my best friend because of this, all because you couldn't keep it in your pants." She muttered.
"I know, I fucked up… They're out of use so you don't have to worry about that anymore." I muttered back and she cracked a smile.
"Serves you right." She smiled and I nodded.
"Find a way to fix it please? I want her back." She whispered to me quietly.
"It's not that easy Mia… it's not just me she's angry at." I said quietly.
"I know… I should have told her when I found out." I closed my eyes and hung my head.
"I should have told her before it all started… why didn't you tell her?" I asked quietly wanting to know why she too kept it a secret.
"I didn't want to hurt her either… we were all in the wrong."
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"… I know. You know what I hate?" She sighed giving me a small smile.
"What?" I whispered.
"I hate how I can never stay mad at you for more than a week." I gave her a weak smile.
"This is one of those times Mia I wished you could." I said quietly.
I didn't sleep that night instead I was mentally screaming at myself while I lay in total silence letting my tears silently run down my cheeks. I was thankful and relieved for the early phone call the next morning from Maria however she sounded distant so I assumed the night to think it over made her more mad with me. I didn't blame her.
"She arrived this morning. I have a message for you and I think you know what its going to be." I closed my eyes in sadness.
"Yeah." I said shakily.
"She doesn't want to hear from you. Any of you."
"You know I can't promise that… I want to make things right." I stressed to her and she sighed.
"Then do something about it, but a word of warning Dominic…. Don't turn up here because I won't be responsible for my actions."
"Did Maria ring?" Leon asked worried and I nodded as I sat down at the kitchen table. I fiddled with the label on jar not looking at anyone.
"Yeah… She arrived this morning. She doesn't want to hear from us." I said pushing my breakfast away as Mia set it down. I stood up and walked to the window looking out it. I know it broke all their hearts to hear that, knowing then that she probably wouldn't ever be back. My heart though felt like it had been ripped in two and the pain was unbareable. The hope that she would come back was waning and it made me sink into the depths of depression even more.
"So that's it? You're just going to give up and not even fight for her?" Vince demanded.
"Of course I'm not going to give up." I shouted and everyone flinched at my tone.
"What are you going to do then?" Mia asked quietly.
"I'm going for a drive to clear my head." I muttered not answering her question.
"Dom." Vince warned and I shot him a glare.
"I'm not going to see anyone. I just fucking going for a drive." I shouted and everyone once again winced at my shout.
"See you at the garage later." I muttered before leaving the room and the house behind me.
As I drove I thought about Maria's warning about not going up there to see her but what other choice did I have? Letty wouldn't answer my calls I'd already tried three times this morning and on the fourth time it hadn't even rung just went straight to voice mail so I assumed she turned it off.
I ended up at the lookout point Letty had shown me and as I looked out at LA it was dark and dreary. It wasn't at all the sight I had come to know when Letty had brought me here. I guess it kind of reflected on us.
I sat on my car and just stared forwards. What was I going to do? Maria had warned me of showing up there but in all honesty if I left her alone it would make it seem like I didn't care and that was far from the case. I wanted and needed Letty back, I needed to prove to her I wouldn't stray again.
I stayed up there for an hour wondering how I was going to get Letty to talk to me and what I was going to say to her. She was going to be pissed and upset and I hated the fact I had been one to do it to her. It was all my fault and I regretted not telling her like I first wanted to instead of listening to Leon and Vince.
When I finally turned up at the garage I immediately wanted to leave when I saw how depressing the place looked without Letty.
"Have you heard from her?" Leon asked and I shook my head.
"I know Maria told me not to but… I'm going to head up there. I need to speak with her." I said determined and he gave me a worried look.
"Are you sure that's wise. Maria doesn't sound very…. safe… to be around. That goes for all of us."
"Maybe but I need to see and speak with Let." I said quietly.
"We'll look after the garage you better head off now before night fall." Vince said quietly.
"Thanks V." I said just as quietly.
"We're sorry Dom, we never should have talked you into not telling her." He said and Leon nodded silently in agreement.
"It's not all your fault." I said nodding to them as I left the garage yet again. I stopped by home and packed an overnight bag and picked up a stack of cash that consisted of about 2-3 grand just in case I needed to stop somewhere for the night.
I drove in silence having turned off the radio not long after getting back into the car. The songs that were playing all somehow reminded me of Letty and I needed to make it to her in one piece.
It took just under five hours for me to drive to Sacramento and I stopped off at the first florist I saw before continuing onto the address Maria had given us and sure enough there in the driveway was Letty's car. I waited for twenty minutes hidden further down the street, my car out of sight from the house to see if she was alone. I was just about to get out when I saw movement and I watched as Maria and James left the house waving to Letty who was standing at the door. I waited until the car was gone and waited another five minutes after that just in case before I got out.
It felt like the longest walk from my car to the house but it was only a few short meters. Looking down at the flowers in my hands I thought about whether or not I was doing the right thing. Letty wasn't a girly girl but I knew the lilies in my hands were her favourite, by doing this I wasn't expecting forgiveness, I had fucked up too badly to ever expect that. I just wanted to explain to her properly and try and get her to speak with me. I sighed quietly raising my hand as I knocked at the door. I waited silently as I listened to the shuffling coming from the other side of the door.
I heard the lock turn and I looked up at the door as it opened seeing the look of surprise along with hurt and hatred as she saw me.
"Hi." I said quietly watching as her eyes narrowed at me. I took the time to quickly look her over making sure she was unharmed. Her eyes were rimmed red no doubt from crying and it tugged at my heart. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was standing in a defensive stance glaring at me.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Dominic how could you! Where is she?" I didn't even flinch at the shrill yell as I held my phone to my ear.
"I don't know… I think she might be on her way to you. Maria I'm so sorry." I cried. I had locked myself in my room after realizing Letty had left us and I spent the first half an hour crying while trying to call her nonstop leaving messages. Even Mia who was beside herself with worry was messaging her. Leon and Vince took off to search the streets for her calling into Hector's and anyone else she might have gone to. With two hours already passed I grew more worried and I knew I had no choice but to ring and tell Maria what had been going on with me and Michelle.
"If I was there right now Dominic I would… You get out there and you find her. Do you understand me? I'll ring if she turns up here but so help me Dominic if anything happens to my baby I'm holding you responsible."
"Maria if anything happens to her I'll never forgive myself." I whispered all the while crying.
"… Even though I'm so furious with you and the others right now I don't want to see you hurt either… what am I going to do with you Dom?" she sighed but I stayed quiet.
"I don't understand… you love Letty, why would you do this to her?"
"Things have changed since jail…" I said quietly.
"So you don't love her anymore? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" She demanded and I shut my eyes tightly.
"No that's not it at all, I love her with all my heart…. I made a mistake, a terrible mistake."
"I can't and won't force her to speak to you if she turns up here." She stated and I hung my head.
"I know…"
"You've really screwed up this time Dominic." I stayed silent at the older woman's words.
"Give her space Dom okay? She'll come to you if she wants to."
"I don't want to lose her." I whispered.
"Then you should have thought with your head and not another part of your body." After a few more minutes of threats and warnings we hung up and I knew she'd never trust me again. Least of all with Letty.
"I'm sorry Mia." I said quietly to her as she came out and sat with me on the back porch.
"I lost my best friend because of this, all because you couldn't keep it in your pants." She muttered.
"I know, I fucked up… They're out of use so you don't have to worry about that anymore." I muttered back and she cracked a smile.
"Serves you right." She smiled and I nodded.
"Find a way to fix it please? I want her back." She whispered to me quietly.
"It's not that easy Mia… it's not just me she's angry at." I said quietly.
"I know… I should have told her when I found out." I closed my eyes and hung my head.
"I should have told her before it all started… why didn't you tell her?" I asked quietly wanting to know why she too kept it a secret.
"I didn't want to hurt her either… we were all in the wrong."
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"… I know. You know what I hate?" She sighed giving me a small smile.
"What?" I whispered.
"I hate how I can never stay mad at you for more than a week." I gave her a weak smile.
"This is one of those times Mia I wished you could." I said quietly.
I didn't sleep that night instead I was mentally screaming at myself while I lay in total silence letting my tears silently run down my cheeks. I was thankful and relieved for the early phone call the next morning from Maria however she sounded distant so I assumed the night to think it over made her more mad with me. I didn't blame her.
"She arrived this morning. I have a message for you and I think you know what its going to be." I closed my eyes in sadness.
"Yeah." I said shakily.
"She doesn't want to hear from you. Any of you."
"You know I can't promise that… I want to make things right." I stressed to her and she sighed.
"Then do something about it, but a word of warning Dominic…. Don't turn up here because I won't be responsible for my actions."
"Did Maria ring?" Leon asked worried and I nodded as I sat down at the kitchen table. I fiddled with the label on jar not looking at anyone.
"Yeah… She arrived this morning. She doesn't want to hear from us." I said pushing my breakfast away as Mia set it down. I stood up and walked to the window looking out it. I know it broke all their hearts to hear that, knowing then that she probably wouldn't ever be back. My heart though felt like it had been ripped in two and the pain was unbareable. The hope that she would come back was waning and it made me sink into the depths of depression even more.
"So that's it? You're just going to give up and not even fight for her?" Vince demanded.
"Of course I'm not going to give up." I shouted and everyone flinched at my tone.
"What are you going to do then?" Mia asked quietly.
"I'm going for a drive to clear my head." I muttered not answering her question.
"Dom." Vince warned and I shot him a glare.
"I'm not going to see anyone. I just fucking going for a drive." I shouted and everyone once again winced at my shout.
"See you at the garage later." I muttered before leaving the room and the house behind me.
As I drove I thought about Maria's warning about not going up there to see her but what other choice did I have? Letty wouldn't answer my calls I'd already tried three times this morning and on the fourth time it hadn't even rung just went straight to voice mail so I assumed she turned it off.
I ended up at the lookout point Letty had shown me and as I looked out at LA it was dark and dreary. It wasn't at all the sight I had come to know when Letty had brought me here. I guess it kind of reflected on us.
I sat on my car and just stared forwards. What was I going to do? Maria had warned me of showing up there but in all honesty if I left her alone it would make it seem like I didn't care and that was far from the case. I wanted and needed Letty back, I needed to prove to her I wouldn't stray again.
I stayed up there for an hour wondering how I was going to get Letty to talk to me and what I was going to say to her. She was going to be pissed and upset and I hated the fact I had been one to do it to her. It was all my fault and I regretted not telling her like I first wanted to instead of listening to Leon and Vince.
When I finally turned up at the garage I immediately wanted to leave when I saw how depressing the place looked without Letty.
"Have you heard from her?" Leon asked and I shook my head.
"I know Maria told me not to but… I'm going to head up there. I need to speak with her." I said determined and he gave me a worried look.
"Are you sure that's wise. Maria doesn't sound very…. safe… to be around. That goes for all of us."
"Maybe but I need to see and speak with Let." I said quietly.
"We'll look after the garage you better head off now before night fall." Vince said quietly.
"Thanks V." I said just as quietly.
"We're sorry Dom, we never should have talked you into not telling her." He said and Leon nodded silently in agreement.
"It's not all your fault." I said nodding to them as I left the garage yet again. I stopped by home and packed an overnight bag and picked up a stack of cash that consisted of about 2-3 grand just in case I needed to stop somewhere for the night.
I drove in silence having turned off the radio not long after getting back into the car. The songs that were playing all somehow reminded me of Letty and I needed to make it to her in one piece.
It took just under five hours for me to drive to Sacramento and I stopped off at the first florist I saw before continuing onto the address Maria had given us and sure enough there in the driveway was Letty's car. I waited for twenty minutes hidden further down the street, my car out of sight from the house to see if she was alone. I was just about to get out when I saw movement and I watched as Maria and James left the house waving to Letty who was standing at the door. I waited until the car was gone and waited another five minutes after that just in case before I got out.
It felt like the longest walk from my car to the house but it was only a few short meters. Looking down at the flowers in my hands I thought about whether or not I was doing the right thing. Letty wasn't a girly girl but I knew the lilies in my hands were her favourite, by doing this I wasn't expecting forgiveness, I had fucked up too badly to ever expect that. I just wanted to explain to her properly and try and get her to speak with me. I sighed quietly raising my hand as I knocked at the door. I waited silently as I listened to the shuffling coming from the other side of the door.
I heard the lock turn and I looked up at the door as it opened seeing the look of surprise along with hurt and hatred as she saw me.
"Hi." I said quietly watching as her eyes narrowed at me. I took the time to quickly look her over making sure she was unharmed. Her eyes were rimmed red no doubt from crying and it tugged at my heart. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was standing in a defensive stance glaring at me.
"What the fuck do you want?"