21st April- Los Angeles, United States
Dr Rosie Greyson’s office
Letty’s POV
I took another quick glance around the large room, my knee shaking nervously as I assessed my surroundings. Whenever the word shrink came to mind I pictured a room like this- two leather lounges separated by a small side table, a box of tissues strategically placed on top, and another leather lounge placed directly in front. On the far side over by the window was a large lounger, and I mentally vowed never to end up on that thing. A whole wall, ceiling to floor, covered in medical books and journals sat on the far wall directly in behind a large executives desk. The place was like a living nightmare.
My eyes met a pair of piercing baby blues and I cleared my throat nervously, shaking my knee again as I gripped Dom’s hand harder.
“It’s a bit daunting isn’t it?” The young female asked as she leant back in her chair, relaxing her grip on her notebook.
“We’re new to this.” Dom answered for me quietly, his hand giving a reassuring squeeze back.
“That’s okay, we can take this slow. Let’s leave the heavy questions for today. Let’s start with something easy like names first?”
“I’m Dom.” Dom spoke hesitantly as he looked to me.
“Letty.” I whispered back.
“Nice to meet you Dom and Letty. My names Doctor Rosie Greyson but I prefer to have my clients call me by my first name, so we’ll just stick with Rosie if that’s okay with you?” She spoke gently.
“Sounds great.” Dom smiled weakly as I nodded my agreement. Seemed as if Dom felt out of his element just as much as me.
“The first few visits are the most unsettling, it’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable and unsure. I usually take this time to get to know each other better, so feel free to ask me any questions.”
“What made you get into counselling?” Dom asked quietly and I turned to look at Rosie while she answered.
“Well truthfully as a child I had always wanted to be ballerina. It wasn’t until I got a bit older that I realised that wasn’t such an easy career option so I had to choose something else. The medical field had always intrigued me as a child too but I can’t stomach the thought of blood so counselling was my next choice. It’s worked well for me so far.” She joked as she gestured around the large room.
I gave her a weak smile in return and even Dom gave her a half-hearted laugh.
“Growing up around cars we always knew what we wanted to be when we got older.” Dom disclosed and I nodded in agreement.
“Cars?” Rosie asked.
“My dad was a rookie track driver but he also owned a garage, I took it over when he passed.”
“Would have made for a very interesting childhood I’m sure. I can’t say I know much about cars myself.”
“Cars were always my thing.” I spoke softly.
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Most of the time. Working on cars is therapeutic, it relaxes me. But there are always times in the summer months were the heat gets too much and a car’s being especially difficult and I lose my temper.” I confide while Dom gives a chuckle.
“Do you still own the garage?” She asks curiously and I nod.
“We recently just acquired it again.” I whispered as it brought me back to reality.
Silence fell between us then and I turned my gaze to my lap. Dom’s hand gave mine a gentle squeeze and I took a breath.
“I’m sensing there’s more to that story, am I right?”
“We have a long past.” Dom mumbled.
“Would you like to talk about some of that?” Dom and I both shared a look but I said nothing.
I bite my lip nervously as we lapse into silence once more.
“Remember there’s no pressure, if you feel uncomfortable about talking about something we can move along and come back to it at a later date when you’re ready.” Rosie gently coaxed.
“It’s complicated.” Dom offered eventually.
“Well how about you start from the beginning? Tell me how long have you two been together?” She asks kindly.
“Since Letty was sixteen. I’m a couple of years older.”
“High school sweethearts, that’s beautiful.” She smiled while Dom and I shared a knowing smile.
“Kind of. Dom used to hate me.” I spoke.
“I never hated you, I just didn’t like you following me around.” Dom spoke with a roll of his eyes. The counsellor smiled and covered her mouth to disguise her laugh.
“He was always mean to me and his sister, we’d been friends ever since I’d moved to the area years beforehand.”
“Mean in what way?”
“Dom and his best friend Vince used to call us names and tease us about what we did or what we wore.”
“What did your parents think about that Dom?” The counsellor asked Dom smiling and he grimaced as he no doubt thought about all the berating he had gotten from Tony over the years.
“I got my backside chewed out, a lot.” He spoke as he sent a smile my way.
“Yet you never learned.” I teased lightly.
“Let’s talk about family while we’re on that topic. Tell me about them.” Rosie asked as she opened her notebook. I felt a sense of unease wash over me at the thought of talking about my father so I stayed quiet.
“Letty would you like to start first?” Rosie asked gently but I shook my head.
“That’s okay, what about you Dom?”
“My parents were great. Like I said my dad owned the garage and raced at the track and my mum worked as a nurse for a little while. I have a younger sister, Mia. I don’t really remember a lot about my mum, she died when I was younger, cancer. Mia didn’t really ever know her. It was hard for dad, to raise the two of us on his own but he managed.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Of course but at the same time it’s my dad I miss the most. He was competing in a big race one day, he was winning but another racer clipped the back of his car and sent it into a spin. He crashed into the fence and the car burst into flames. They say he was dead before it caught fire.” Dom whispered and I teared up as I recalled that awful day.
“You were there?” Rosie asked quietly.
“We all were, we saw the whole thing.”
“That must have been traumatising for you all.” Rosie spoke gently.
“My mum stepped in and helped a lot after it happened. Mia was a mess and Dom wouldn’t speak to anyone for a couple of days. She sorted out everything. Vince, Leon and… Jesse helped too.” I spoke, hesitating at Jesse’s name.
“You said Vince was you’re best friend, is that right?”
“Yeah, we’d been friends since third grade. Leon is Letty’s friend at school but dad had offered him a job at the garage and he took it. Jesse was his friend, he was just a kid but he was amazing.” Dom whispered towards the end.
“Was?” Rosie asked.
“He died a few years later. He was shot down outside our house, I held him as he died.” Dom whispered.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It was my fault.”
“How was it your fault?” Rosie asked as she wrote something down.
A long stretch of silence fell over us and I could feel him tense.
“I got us into a bad situation, I made a mistake.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Not right now.” He whispered and turned away.
“That’s okay, what about you Letty? Do you feel up to talking?”
“I don’t know.” I whispered.
“That’s okay we can start easy. Before you spoke about your mum and how she helped when Dom’s dad died, would you like to tell me a bit about her?”
“My mum’s great. She’s at the centre of every childhood memory.”
“What did she do?”
“She’s a nurse, well she was a nurse. I don’t know what she’s doing now.” I spoke softly as I thought about my mum. I missed her but I didn’t have the courage to find her.
“You don’t speak to her anymore?”
“We fell out of contact...”
“I know it may not seem like it but you both did really well today, you’ve both taken a very big step. You have to understand it’s going to be hard at first but I’m here to listen and help, not to judge, so be as open as you feel comfortable with. Before we finish today’s session I have one last question for you both, and I want you to really think about it okay?” Rosie spoke after another long pause of silence. I nodded and out of the corner of my eye I saw Dom do the same.
“What do you want out of this counselling? As an individual and a couple.” Rosie asked us seriously.
The question threw me as I thought about it. Why had I taken Mia’s advice and seeked counselling other than to cope and talk about our past?
“Trust. I want her to be able to trust me again, like we had all those years ago before I made mistakes and took her for granted.” Dom answered after a minute and I looked over at him silently. He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand for the fourth time during the session.
“And as an individual?” Rosie asked as she wrote something down.
“I want to be a better person, one she deserves. I want to be a better father and a better brother.”
“So you want to work on yourself more?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” Dom nodded quietly.
“That’s great Dom. And Letty, what about you?”
I said nothing, staring at the doctor as I thought back to our past.
“Trust…I want to be able to trust him, and myself, but-“ I stopped myself and looked away. I silently cursed myself as unshed tears welled in my eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones.
“But?” Rosie coaxed gently. I turned back to Rosie before swinging my gaze to a nervous looking Dom. His eyes searched my face for answers while I let a lone tear fall.
“I just want to feel safe again.” I whispered as more tears followed, breaking down into a sobbing mess in front of Rosie and Dom. It only took a couple of seconds before I was in Dom’s arms and his words of comfort were washing over me.