15th January- Canary Islands, Spain
Letty’s beach house
Dom’s POV
“I can’t Let. I want to, I’ve dreamed about it more than enough times but I’m not going to take advantage of you.” I spoke quietly, my hand coming up to caress her face.
“Dom-“
“Letty please, I can’t.” I pleaded as her face crumpled. It broke my heart but it felt like the right thing to do.
“I’m sorry, baby I’m sorry.” I whispered into her ear as she buried her face in my neck. Sobs wracked her body once more as I held her tightly.
“It’s okay. Why would you want to anyway? I’m… dirty.” I froze at her words, in shock that she thought of herself that way. Pulling her out of hiding I grasped her chin forcefully so she had to look at me.
“You are not dirty Letty and you’re not ruined for me; you’re not any of those things do you hear me? I want nothing more than to take you to the bedroom right now and make love to you all through the night but I can’t. I would feel selfish if I did.”
“But I want you to.” She whispered.
“Let you can’t stand me touching you, you cringe every time.” I spoke gently, stroking her face with both my hands.
“I’m not cringing now.” I smiled a small smile and nodded.
“No you’re not.” I agreed.
“Please.” She begged again silently but I stood my ground.
“No.” All fight left her in an instant as her body slumped against mine.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s not the same but I can hold you tonight if you want me to.” I offered and she sniffed before nodding.
“I’ll take what I can get.” She tried to joke but it came out more serious then she intended. I smiled softly, tracing her face as I looked up at her.
“I love you Letty, that’s never changed and it’s not going to. We’ve just got to take baby steps remember?”
“Yeah I know.” She smiled slightly as she sat up, retreating to her side of the lounge as I sat up. Holding out my hand I gave her a smile.
“Let’s go to bed. It’s late and I just want to hold you.” I spoke, rising from the couch as I continued to hold out my hand to her. She took it, no hesitation this time around, as I tightened my hand around hers.
I did a quick sweep of the house making sure the lights were off and the doors were locked before I led the way to her bedroom. I watched as she grabbed her shorts and tank before heading into the adjoining bathroom to change. Flipping the bedside lamp on I shrugged out of my t-shirt, dropping it to the floor beside the bed my jeans and belt following a few seconds later.
I pulled the covers down, sitting against the bed-head as I waited for Letty to emerge. While I waited I took the time to look around the room. Her favourite moisturiser was on the draws and I smiled as I instantly recalled the smell. It seemed some things didn’t change after all.
Letty’s POV
I leant heavily on the bathroom sink bench, kicking myself for being such an idiot. I spent more time then I needed to in the bathroom, afraid of facing Dom after everything that was said and done just moments before.
“Idiot. I start talking and become a complete mental case.” I muttered to myself.
“Let you okay?” Dom spoke through the closed door and I took one last look at myself in the mirror before turning to open the door. He stepped back as I stepped out giving him a small smile as I nodded.
“Sorry.”
“No need to be sorry, just want to make sure you were okay.” Dom spoke softly and I nodded.
“Bed?” He asked and I nodded.
“Do you still sleep on the left?” He asked and I paused, refusing to look at him as I answered.
“No, the right but I’ll sleep left tonight.”
“Mind if I ask why?” He spoke as I crawled into bed, joining me a moment later.
“I used to sleep on your side after you left. Guess it never stopped.” I shrugged and he nodded before he reached over and turned out the lights.
“Thank you.” I spoke into the darkness as we lay side by side, neither of us touching just yet.
“I’ll do anything for you Letty, you should know that.” In the dark I blindly reached out for his hand, lacing my fingers with his as he gripped tightly.
“Sleep Let, I’ll protect you tonight.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close as I closed my eyes.