15th January- Canary Islands, Spain
Letty’s beach house
Letty’s POV
“And here I am.” I finished off shakily. It had been six hours since we’d returned from Mia and Brian’s, just under since we put Ava to bed. She crashed almost as soon as her head hit the pillow which was a sigh of relief seeing as she was overtired from no midday nap. Dom and I had curled up on opposite sides of the couch and I started talking. It was hard to start, I stopped and started a lot in the beginning, almost stopping altogether but the tortured look in Dom’s eyes kept pushing me forward. If we were going to make this work he had to know everything.
Once I got into it the words flowed out of my mouth more easily but I had zoned out from the present, instead I was reliving the painful memories of my past I had locked up. Dom had been amazing. He hadn’t jumped in, hadn’t gotten angry or frustrated with me, instead he sat there silently listening to every word I had spoken.
I looked down at our linked hands. When I got to Demetri I had started shaking, chocking through my story and all the horrific details that came along with it. He hadn’t said a word, only taken my hand and held on to it tightly, giving me the strength I needed to continue.
“Say something.” I begged, whispering my plea.
“I don’t know what to say. It’s my fault that you went through all of this Letty, I haven’t and won’t ever forgive myself for what’s happened to you.” Dom whispered back to me.
“I don’t blame you anymore. The blame went out the door the day she spoke dada.” I admitted. His eyes met mine in question and I nodded silently.
“Her words were what made me give you a chance Dom. It broke something in me and… I realized maybe you could help me after all.” His hand squeezed mine.
“I’m going to try my hardest to make you happy. I don’t ever want you to feel pain again.” He vowed and I managed a small smile.
We fell silent once more and I took the time to watch him as he processed everything I’d just expressed.
“Can I see them?” I frowned, all the while unintentionally recoiling from his hold, confused about his question.
“What?” I asked tense.
“Hey relax, I won’t hurt you. You know that right?” I nodded stiffly as he moved toward me slowly, his hands raised slightly so I could see them both.
“Your scars… can I see them?”
“You won’t touch right?” I asked unsurely and he shook his head in agreement.
“You have my word, I’ll just look I promise. I don’t want to cause you any pain Let.”
“They don’t hurt anymore.”
“I didn’t mean physical, I meant emotional.” I blinked in response, shocked by his words.
“Oh.” I whispered.
It took me a few minutes before I moved again, shifting slightly so I could remove my hoodie. Left only in my tank top I turned on the couch slowly until my back was facing Dom.
“Can you move your hair?” He whispered and I complied immediately. I was thankful he had asked and not done it himself, as much as I wanted to be touched by him; or anyone, I wasn’t ready. My heart swelled slightly as the Dom I first fell in love with shone through.
“Not all of these are from the crash.” He stated but I felt the need to nod anyway.
“What’s this one from?” He asked quietly. I turned my head to look over my shoulder, wondering which one he was asking about. He was pointing to the long, deep scar on my shoulder and I grimaced in reminder.
“That one is weapon inflicted. One of Carlos’ men was knife happy.” I muttered. I ducked my head unable to look at his face knowing his eyes had darkened in anger.
“Are there more I can’t see?” He asked gently but his voice also betrayed the anger he had surging through his veins.
“A few.”
“DF… right?” He whispered and I gave a stiff nod.
“I’d rather not show that one.” I mumbled softly, meeting his gaze over my shoulder briefly before I dropped my gaze.
“I really want to see Let, I need to see all of them.” He choked out. I closed my eyes and took a breath.
“Why are you torturing yourself?” I whispered in question.
“I need to.” I started to shake my head but his hand grasped mine and I stopped short.
“Please?” He begged desperately and I caved. Turning around once more I sat facing him, our faces now almost face to face and I held my breath in caution. He seemed to note and shifted back ever so slightly. The small movement was enough for me to breathe again, but only just.
Hesitantly I stretched my leg out, my thigh brushing against Dom’s. The brief connection made me audibly gasp and Dom’s breath hitched as well. One look at his face told me the sexual connection we had shared years before hadn’t gone away.
“Sorry.” I mumbled dropping is gaze almost immediately.
“My fault.” He spoke quietly. I kept my head lowered but watched him as he studied the permanent scarring.
“Does it hurt?”
“Not physically.” I admitted. He remained silently, sitting motionless as he stared at it. I fought the urge to turn my leg and hide it from his view knowing we both needed this.
“I won’t hurt you but I want to touch it.” My alarm must have been evident because he quickly grabbed my hand as I tried to stand.
“Wait please. I promise I won’t hurt, I just... I need to touch this one.”
“Why?” I asked, choking back my tears.
“I don’t want him to have been the last person to touch you there.” I stopped breathing at his sincere words. I didn’t have an answer for him; I couldn’t even form a word or move. He waited a few beats before taking my silence as consent. His hand moving slowly and cautiously toward my inner thigh. My heart felt like it had stopped beating, a lump had formed in the back of my throat making it hard to breath and the darkness was starting to creep in slowly.
“Letty… Letty look at me, breathe. Baby breathe, I won’t hurt you okay? You have to trust me.” His voice was closer than I expected and his other hand was gently cupping the side of my face, his eyes locked on mine. I gulped in air, panting as the black fog cleared from my brain, I focused on the hand that was caressing the side of my face and I shocked myself at the thought of it not being painful. It was hard to process; Leon touched me like this all the time and I knew it wasn’t painful, yet somehow it was different when Dom did it. I glanced down watching as Dom’s other hand hovered just a few millimeters off from my thigh.
“You okay?” I made a strangled noise in the back of my throat as an answer. I noted the worry and unease in Dom’s eyes increasing by each passing second.
I tensed, feeling the first wave of tremors pass through me as his hand touched my leg directly over my scar. Long fingers gently caressing each letter with soft, gentle strokes; each one causing me to shiver in reaction. Again his touch didn’t hurt; it was just the pain of remembering how it felt when each letter had been unwillingly carved into my skin. I tried to focus on Dom’s strokes, feeling myself slightly relax one muscle at a time.
“I don’t want to hurt you Letty, I want to take the pain away.” He whispered as his other hand stilled on my cheek.
“I know.” I breathed out in a whisper. Dom’s gentle caresses starting to get too much to handle. Stirring sensations surfaced suddenly making me close my eyes as I tried to fight against the feelings.
“Dom…” I choked out in pain, pleasure or both I had no idea; all I knew was I just needed him to stop.